Découragez! Découragez!

Vote in my home improvement poll, suckas!

Man: Would you stop being so tall?

Woman: I can't. I'm German. I'm a Naaaaziiii.

Man: You're not going to shoot me, are you?

Woman: Nope, but I might put you in an oven!

I'm in a fatty sweety kind of mood, so I'm going to make yeast doughnuts today. What else will I do? I plan to walk to CVS for the envelopes and paper I need to mail out my party flyers--give me your address if you haven't already!--and finish up a handbag that's been hanging in my closet for ages upon ages. I'll do some work, of course, but there are plenty of chores that need doing around the house.

I need to start some kind of business...making stuff, selling stuff, writing stuff...who knows? I want to be autonomous.

I need to practice my drawing and painting skillz because they have atrophied in a serious way.

I need to cut out fabric pieces for a second dress and trace my mp3 cozy pattern onto some interfacing.

I need to finish tweaking Book proposal number two. It's all done, with not just a sample chapter, but an entire sample book!

I need $50,000 so I can fully re-do the upstairs and the front of the house. I already know what it ought to look like.

I need to send my Uncle Bruce something because my Aunt Beth most likely died last night.

I need you to e-mail your mailing address to christa d terry at gmail so I can send you a party flyer. Yes, you.

Yogurt.

I lol'ed.

My advance copy of iDo: Planning Your Wedding with Nothing But 'Net just arrived! My picture is on the back! I feel so giddy!

I need to get these dang pics off my camera so I can take a snapshot of me with it.

OMIGOSHOMIGOSH!

(PS -- There's still time to get me your mailing address for the great grand bookwarming partay. Special guests include Mr. Drinkles and Mrs. Mini pizzas.)

We just got home from GH9, which was A LOT of fun. I had a blast with Jack, Angela, and Joe, even if my feet were swimming in a pool of coffee ;-) Look through my notebook now, I'm laughing at all the fake words I made up while we were trying to make an anagram with a group of letters that was slightly incorrect.

We didn't go out afterward for a host of reasons (cat needing meds, among other things), and will now enjoy a quiet evening at home. I have to admit, I always feel totally drained after the Hunts. I think it has a lot more to do with spending six hours in a busy mall food court than anything else.

Now here's a little something tasty:

We were treated like rock stars. I was told there were female Trekkies who kept lists of all the cast members with whom they'd slept. I was told this!

During much of this time I was single and I had opportunities to be with many women - and I grasped a great many of them. Never at warp speed.

It's a weird realizing that you only know the melody to certain vintage songs because of your affinity for Nazi propaganda swing*...




*Nazi Propaganda Swing would be a cool band name

1. Hello to all the party people -- don't forget to send me your mailing addies for party promotion! Also, any locals who are willing to donate cooked foodstuffs to a Saturday night dinnertime buffet should get in touch. Meat dishes are welcome, because I hear people are into that sort of thing. Cheers!

2. From Mark's Daily Apple:
Not everything we consider nuts are really nuts. Some are actually seeds, often within fruits or even legumes. A hazelnut is, indeed, a nut. An acorn is also a variety of “true” nut, as are pecans, walnuts and chestnuts. But an almond, for example, is a seed inside a fleshy fruit’s (a.k.a. drupe’s) pit. A pistachio is a seed within a fleshy fruit. Pine nuts are seeds. Cashews are seeds. Peanuts are the seeds of a legume. Technically speaking, all nuts are fruits, and a “true” nut is indehiscent (they don’t – by themselves – open to spread seeds), hard-shelled and generally one-seeded.

3. Do me a favor, would ya? On the Amazon page for iDo, there's a section near the bottom where you can start and contribute to discussions related to the book's topic (i.e., weddings). If you have a spare moment and an Amazon account, I'd be much obliged if you'd help me get some discussions going so that they're there when the book launches in just about a month. Cheers times two!

This is freaking awesome. And some of it (but not all) is not safe for work. Unless, maybe, you work in the bug house at the zoo?

Bee, snail, and spider are the best.

PS -- Buy my book and also e-mail me your address if you're interested in coming to my July 25/26/27 bookwarming shindig. NOTE: Party admission does not require purchase of book, though it will earn you one free hug. Please no groping, thanks.

Point one: My cat Mannix -- you know, the prettiest, nicest, most playful one -- has an enlarged heart and some of that cardiomyopathy shit that House is always talking about. It's progressive and ultimately deadly, and treatment is no guarantee. Doing what we can to keep the Grim Reaper at bay means giving him two medications...all I ask is that they be injectable...Mannix does not like pills, gels, liquids, treats, or any food corrupted by medication.

Point two: I was doing one of those breast self exams and felt a hard pea-sized lump. Or at least I think I felt a hard pea-sized lump...breasts feel like they're full of worms as it is, so who knows. I'm going to recheck that mammary in a week and see if that dang thing is still there. If it is, it's off to the doctor I go.

And today was shaping up so nicely...

I figured I ought to link to this again in case any y'all random internet people haven't seen it because I posted it on a Friday night.

So I feel like I'm getting kind of old, what with the responsibility and the arm flab and the mortgage. Nuts to that!

I was looking through old pics of e2 gatherings from long ago and I got just wistful enough to consider having a big-ass crazy drunky musicy kind of multi-dayish party.

You know, the sort where you invite random people you've never met before and everyone goes to sleep on the floor and the pets feel utterly terrorized but no one vomits on my couch. Yeah, that sort of party.

Seeing as that my book release party ideas fell through -- who cares about family, anyway? they're role in life is to try to make you do things you don't want to do -- and that I'm open to the notion of getting knocked up -- that's not an invitation -- I figure the time to do something crazy is now.

And by "now" I mean "in a few months so I can plan ahead like a good grownup."

Of course, this is all dependent on people's willingness to travel, because lawdy, I don't want to have some kind of half-assed party where people start to leave at ten-ish because they want to get home in time to watch Scrubs reruns.

So...anyone feeling freshy fresh and open to the idea of going to a bookwarming party sometime round, say, the end of July? MOST PROBABLY THE WEEKEND OF JULY 26

EDIT: Moxiee and MKB may be able to offer crash space to attendees, which means more travelers from afar can party on down.

1. I remember going, ages ago, to this weird themey restaurant in New York City. There was a mad scientist's lair feel to the place and multiple floors, though truth be told the food was as blah as you might expect from a theme eatery. All atmosphere, no flavor, and by "atmosphere" I mean loud sound effects and lighting so dark that you can't be sure you're eating your own food.

Does not enjoying things like that make me an old fart? Who cares! I want to see what I'm eating!

2. There are these weeds that grow on my property...at least I think they're weeds. They don't have deep roots, they spread like mad, and have tiny purple flowers. On one hand, they drive me crazy because they're everywhere. On the other hand, they're pretty and make nice groundcover. I should take a pic so y'all can help me identify them.

2.5. Why are people surprised that Brigitte Bardot is all old and wrinkly and fugly? SHE'S OLDER THAN MY GRANDMOTHER! LET HER HANG UP THE KITTEN HEELS! Man, she was hot back in the day, but she sure does hate Muslims and homos!

3. I've been sick recently. Naturally, as soon as I start interacting with the world again, the first thing that happens is that I get sick. This is just one more argument in my cache of reasons I ought to be allowed to stay home and do homey things all day.

4. I made four full size cakes and ten mini cakes in flavors like lemon poppyseed and banana!

Beans and eggs go together so well that I'm surprised more people of the USian variety don't eat them together!

Sometimes when I'm watching Battlestar Galactica, I think about how cool it would be to run like hell from the cyclons.

Then I think, damn, if I was on Galactica I bet all I'd want would be to live in a house with a husband and some cats.

But then I forget all about relative desire and start thinking that it would be bitchin' to fly some vipers and plug the heck out of a res ship and smoke big fat cigars that are some of the only big fat cigars left in the universe.

Soooooooo tired.....ugh. Can I say I'm dog tired? That my dogs are barking?

At least I had time to make a peanut butter and jelly cake this morning.

I'm starving and I can't bring myself to get up and make anything, though I did drive out of my way to get a latte. It was latte or death. Seriously.

WAAAAAANT SLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP NOW BUT MUST TAKE OUT TRASH. DUMB WORLD.

Also, this show should have been picked up:

I have officially joined the ranks of actors who waitress and artists who work in art supply shops. Yesterday, I accepted a part time position with an animal care facility (a.k.a. doggie day care) so I could continue to write book proposals and such things without having to worry about paying so many of my bizzles.

The best part about the job -- uh, other than the fact that I'll be working outside a goodly portion of the time and playing with pooches for pay -- is that it looks like I can start early, i.e., 6:30 in the a.m. early, and get home about halfway through the usual working day. That means PLENTY of time to work on what's really important*.

The worst part is probably the poo poo and the pee pee and, sometimes, the upchuck. But, hey, I deal with that at home and at the shelter for free, so it's about time someone started paying me for my efforts.

*What is really important right now is getting some more books out there, duh.